Signs and Wonders of a Different Kind

There's a verse in Revelation that gets quoted a lot in certain Christian circles. It goes like this:

"They overcame him [the devil, who is called, "the accuser of the brethren" here] by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony..."

I've heard it quoted often and it's generally used as a victory/battle cry kind of a thing. That's great. It's even true.

What really struck me a few years ago, however, was the second half of that particular verse, that usually is omitted, which adds:

"...and they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death."

Upon further reading I realized that the "overcomers" were dead, y'all. Wait a minute. The ones who overcame were killed. So, how did they overcome then? It really caused me to stop and think about my definition of what it means to overcome difficulties.

Many times we say someone overcame a situation when they came out victorious, by our definition. A person is wrongly accused of something and found innocent. Another person gets a cancer diagnosis and is either miraculously healed or cured through medicine. Nadal comes back from a serious injury to win the US Open. That is a big deal. All these people did, indeed, overcome.

But there's an overcoming of a different kind, and it's the kind Scripture is teaching us about here, and the kind it teaches us about most often, I believe. Jesus guaranteed us that we would have trouble in this world, but He said, "Fear not, for I have overcome the world."

He has already overcome the world by living a sinless life, laying that life down sacrificially and then picking it back up, making a spectacle of the accuser of the brethren. That's why Revelation says they overcame by the blood of the lamb. That was His part of the equation.

He does His part, but we still have our part to do. There are things under our control and for those we are responsible. Our part is to maintain our testimony that God is good, that we trust Him, that we love Him, that we belong to Him, to the point of death if necessary. Our part is to never give up and never turn our backs on the One who didn't turn His back on us.

I'm telling you it is a sign and a wonder when a follower of Christ stands firm under tribulation and trouble. When Chinese believers risk death to meet together because they have fallen so in love with God. When a former Muslim is tortured and burned and will not disown Jesus. That is overcoming.

Those are the more obvious examples, but I'd take it even further. I think that any time we continue to choose to persevere we overcome. Again, Jesus has done His part, but we must do ours.

Miraculous healings and divine interventions are signs and wonders. But I believe there are signs and wonders (so to speak) of a different kind, as well.

It is a sign and a wonder when a wife stays with a husband who has been unfaithful. Or when a couple keeps plowing through a difficult* marriage, because both sets of people believe God is trustworthy to meet all their needs. They are overcoming.

It is a sign and a wonder when a parent loses a child and still worships the Lord. It doesn't mean they don't ask questions and grieve, but the one that keeps saying, "nevertheless I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day," is overcoming.

It is a sign and a wonder when you find yourself in confusing circumstances -when you've obeyed God and things are genuinely hard - and you keep following, obeying and trusting.

It is a sign and a wonder when a woman gets a cancer diagnosis that's not optimistic, and she never loses her faith. When she lifts her weak, feeble, hands in worship in a hospital bed, with tubes coming out from everywhere, she is holding fast to her testimony that God is good. And she makes a spectacle of the enemy of her soul who tries to bring discouragement and feelings of abandonment. She is overcoming cancer.

When we choose to press on, to never give up, to never turn our backs on God, who didn't turn His back on us, we are overcomers. Whatever that looks like. We all have things to overcome and situations along the way that challenge our faith and endurance.

But we must endure, we must never give up. The day will come that it will all seem like light and momentary suffering, as Paul said, though now it may seem like endless misery. Just know that He sees and He honors those who continue to trust Him and who accept that His ways are good.

Believer in Christ, it is in you to be an overcomer. You win.



*Notice I didn't say abusive, but, rather, difficult. Just to clarify.

I'm Coming For You, Wherever You Go

There are two main "faces" of God, that when I think on them or sing about them, bring me instantly to tears - two parts of His character that really stir my emotion.

One is His majesty - the imagery of the throne room in heaven with the sea of glass and the colors and the lightning and thunder and the promise that one day all things will be set to right. That moves me.

The other one is God as a good Father - His parenting of His people. For example, this from chapter 4 of the book of Hosea:

“When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. But the more they were called, the more they went away from me. They sacrificed to the Baals and they burned incense to images. It was I who taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by the arms; but they did not realize it was I who healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love. To them I was like one who lifts a little child to the cheek, and I bent down to feed them. My people are determined to turn from me. Even though they call me God Most High, I will by no means exalt them. “How can I give you up, Ephraim? How can I hand you over, Israel? How can I treat you like Admah? How can I make you like Zeboyim? My heart is changed within me; all my compassion is aroused. I will not carry out my fierce anger, nor will I devastate Ephraim again. For I am God, and not a man— the Holy One among you. I will not come against their cities. They will follow the Lord; he will roar like a lion. When he roars, his children will come trembling from the west. They will come from Egypt, trembling like sparrows, from Assyria, fluttering like doves. I will settle them in their homes,” declares the Lord. (Hosea 11:1-4, 7-11 NIV)

Do you see that? I think it's because I have children and I have held their arms while they learned to walk. I'm a very visual person and I can see huge, strong hands holding the chubby arms of a toddler, just trying to take the next step without falling flat. I have felt compassion on my children, even when they rebel against me. I don't enjoy discipline. And neither does the Lord. Sometimes it's necessary but His heart is always for us to turn back toward Him.

In the same way any good parent will pursue a child who is going astray, in the way that a loving mom or dad refuses to give up on a child that seems hopeless - in that same way God loves us. And more. If you get lost, overwhelmed, feel hopeless, confused, depressed, angry, make a huge mistake, etc, He will come for you. Of course our part is to turn (aka repent).

This song (below) has so ministered to my heart recently. If I've listened to it once I've listened a hundred times. Take a few minutes to really listen. My favorite line is this:

"Wrestling angels till dawn breaks through,

There's a blessing in the wound,

and you're running, you're running from it."

When we wrestle through our problems with the Lord, it can be painful, but there's a blessing in it if we don't run away. I love the way she repeats, "I'm coming for you. I'm coming for you, wherever you go." That's the determination of a parent, and it's but a reflection of the heart of God.

These are the lyrics in full (well, mostly):

There's a train leaving your heart tonight,

There's a silence inside your head 

and you're running, you're running from it. 

 

Down the tracks on a midnight line, 

There's a red moon in the sky 

and you're running, you're running from it. 

 

But I'm coming for you wherever you go. 

I'm coming for you, I'm coming for you,

Wherever you go.

Wrestling angels till dawn breaks through 

There's a blessing in the wound 

and you're running, you're running from it. 

 

When all your demons are at your door 

It's a soldier they're looking 

and you're running, you're running from it. 

 

But I'm coming for you wherever you go. 

I'm coming for you, I'm coming for you wherever you go.

 

Across the sea, 

the space between everything you think you know 

 the things you keep and bury deep 

underneath the melting snow 

 I'll follow.  

 

Fathers & mothers don't always come through 

But I'm never gonna stop following you 

Prophets and lovers don't always hold true 

But I'm never gonna stop falling for you 

 

So when your wine's all gone and your well runs dry, 

Open your hands and look into my eyes; all that you see here, 

You'll soon leave behind, so open your hands and look into my eyes.

 

I'm coming for you, I'm coming for you,

Wherever you go.

 

The End?

You know that figure of speech about coming to the end of oneself? Someone will say something like, "I finally came to the end of myself."

I've said it before. Here's the thing: I've come to the end of myself. Several times. Which means, guess what: I haven't come to the end of myself yet. And guess what else. We never will, in this lifetime, come to the proverbial ends of ourselves.

I feel like I'm in a relay race, where I finish one leg of the race, only to pass the baton off to myself again, to start another leg. When the apostle Paul talked about running the race with endurance, maybe it wasn't a marathon, so much as a relay. 

Hopefully, when I've come to the end of one leg of my race, I am passing the baton off to a stronger, faster version of myself, able to endure and persevere through the next leg. That is, perhaps, the measure of success. It's about becoming better, more like Christ. It's a becoming not a finally-finishing. 

Maybe holiness is simply enduring and running and never giving up, rather than arriving at "our testimony." You know, the one where we tell about how we used to be that way, but now, finally, Christ has done His work and we are this way. Whew...it was tough, but I made it. Finally.

That day will come, of course. Eventually. But for now, it isn't even the point. The point now is to "throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart...Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 'Make level paths for your feet,' so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed." (Hebrews 12)

The point now is RUN.

The God on the Cross

I've got this question. Why, when we look at Jesus on the cross, do we tend to wonder first, "What does this act say about me?" Shouldn't we firstly, and mostly, wonder, "What does this say about God?" Jesus said that those who had seen Him have seen the Father. So, what do we understand about the Father by looking at Jesus on the cross? That's the question to ask first.

Our pop psychology culture has taught us to look for our significance in everything, to wonder what everything means, to, for and about us. We love personality tests and spiritual gift tests (in the church) to tell us more about us. Those things are useful, no doubt, but also I think we kind of get a kick out of it. I know I do sometimes, whether its put to any good use or not. We love to dig deeper into us. Yet, we can't muster the enthusiasm to dig deeper into our Creator. How funny and how not funny.

Against that backdrop we often take the cross and use it as nothing more than another way to boost the self-esteem. To say, "See, you are worth something after all. Cheer up." When, perhaps, God is saying, "Look at Me! Look outward, outside yourself...see who I AM! Esteem Me, not yourself!"

My personal belief is that we generally lack God-esteem, not self-esteem. If we rightly esteemed Him, many questions of "self" would dissolve. They wouldn't even be answered necessarily, but rather would become non-existent and unnecessary.

This doesn't take away from, or lessen, the fact that we are His beloved. It only changes the focus. It reverses the cause and effect. The cross doesn't say, you are so special and so wonderful that I died for you. The God on the cross first says, "I AM Love."  "I AM Sacrifice."  "I AM Power."  "I AM Humility."  "I AM Freedom from fear of death." Among other things.

It says that you are loved because I AM love and you are special only because I have chosen to set my love on you. You didn't earn it...you aren't lovable enough, cute enough, smart enough, good enough, sweet enough. It's about Me, not you.

After that understanding comes, it can be about us.

See, a thing is only about me as much as its about me. Makes perfect sense, right? Probably not ;) I might come back and read this whole post next week and go, "Huh?"

The point is that I think it's a great question to ponder: "What does the God on the cross teach me about Himself, about the three-in-one God?" Let's go beyond, "He died for you because He loves you, therefore, you're a worthy creature," and see what else we can see. Let's who it is that has set His love on us and why that's a really big deal.

I Miss This Girl

I miss this girl.

(I have no idea why Blogger posted the picture twice and it won't let me delete..so enjoy it twice ;)

Today marks 8 months since she went to be with the Lord. I rarely look at this picture because it almost shocks me, if that makes sense, but it's one of my favorites. I think it captures her so well.

I keep thinking I should be "over" it by now - I don't know why - but, I'm not. And I don't think I ever will be, and I think that's okay. There isn't a day that passes that several times something doesn't remind me of her. So much of my thinking and growth was impacted either by her directly or she was simply there along the way. As a wise woman just told me, who shall remain nameless because I didn't ask her permission, Summer embodied Jesus to me in many ways. She was human and she wasn't perfect and we had issues now and then, like everyone does (and they were usually my issues...I'd be nervous to read her journal :) but, her friendship brought incredible healing to my soul. And a hole like that isn't quickly or easily filled, and may never really be.

That may sound hopeless, but it's not. I heard a well-known pastor recently talk about death and grieving and he made it sound as though we should just be joyful when a loved one goes ahead of us to heaven. Almost as if we should feel bad for grieving because it means we lack faith. I wanted to slap him for putting such a pharisaical load on the shoulders of those that follow his ministry (in my opinion).

The Bible says we don't grieve in the same way that those who have no hope do...not to the same degree or proportion. We shouldn't be overtaken by grief, but it does not say we don't grieve. It's just that our grief is tempered by the hope of eternity.

The day will come when all tears will be wiped away, there will be no more death and mourning for the old order of things will have passed away. He will make all things new.

We will see Summer again and all others who have gone ahead to be with the Lord. We will laugh, talk, remember, live.

I look so forward to that day. In the meantime, I really miss her.

Who Is My Neighbor?

"Now an expert in religious law stood up to test Jesus, saying, “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 

He said to him, “What is written in the law? How do you understand it?” 

The expert answered, “ Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind , and love your neighbor as yourself .” 

Jesus said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.” 

But the expert, wanting to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”  

[Jesus then tells the familiar story about the "Good Samaritan," then asks the "expert,"]

"Which of these three do you think became a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?”  

The expert in religious law said, “The one who showed mercy to him.” 

So Jesus said to him, “Go and do the same.” (Luke 10:25-29, 36, 37 NET)
***not the point of this post but note that this directive is connected to the man's original question about inheriting eternal life. Not a small detail***

I find this so interesting, especially in reading this translation. It brings out something I've never seen before. The expert asks who his neighbor is, implying that there are some who aren't considered neighbors. Some he doesn't have to love. He wants to know where the line is, perhaps.

Where can I draw the line?

Jesus tells the whole story about the Good Samaritan and then asks not, who was the neighbor in this story, which might have directed attention to the injured man on the side of the road (which is how I've always read this for some reason) but who BECAME a neighbor? It's not so much that I didn't see this truth before, but I've not paid attention to the way Jesus asked the question.

The question isn't who is my neighbor, but to whom will I become a neighbor? Will I be a neighbor? Will I choose love? 

Every question we have always seems to come back around to us...to the condition of our own hearts.

Jesus, which of these people am I required to love? The answer, are you willing to love them all?

Who of them is my neighbor? Are you willing to be a neighbor first?

What about that person over there? What about you?

What must I do to be saved? Give up anything that hinders love.

I hope we are willing because Jesus said, now that you understand what is required, "Go and do likewise."

On Being a Caterpillar

One thing I love about God's creativity in creation is that we can see spiritual realities mirrored in it. For example:

(Source unknown)

We call this a caterpillar. 

A caterpillar is actually a butterfly, not a unique entity called a caterpillar. It's an immature, baby butterfly, but as long as nothing disrupts its life cycle, it will surely become what it is. What I mean is that the internal reality will be seen outwardly, in its fullness, in due time. It's built into its DNA to build a cocoon and be transformed into a butterfly. There's work involved but it doesn't try really hard, necessarily. It simply follows its inward promptings, sets the environment and boom...wings, colors, beauty...butterfly. It becomes something that looks completely (almost) different. 

(Photo from http://www.webexhibits.org/causesofcolor/15A.html )

Of course we learned in elementary school that it's called metamorphosis. From the Greek word, "metamorphoo," meaning, "to change into another form, to transform, to transfigure." 

We see that same word used in scripture in these verses...

Matthew 17:2 And He [Jesus] was transfigured before them; and His face shone like the sun, and His garments became as white as light.

2 Cor 3:18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.

Does that blow your mind like it does mine? The same word used to describe the transfiguration of Jesus is used for our transfiguration into His image. What?! We behold His glory and we are being transformed into that same image...the image of His glory! Are you kidding, God? 

Nope.

 In the same way we see the caterpillar transfigured - in that small, yet huge, example - when we are saved, when we accept the salvation provided to us through Jesus and make Him Lord over our lives, we have the glory of Christ within us. We are immature, baby, bearers of His glory, but just as surely as a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, we will be transformed into the image of His glory. It, too, involves work, in a sense, but it's not that we try hard, it's that we follow the inward promptings of the spirit...step by step, from "glory to glory." We see in part while we are here and will see it in fullness in eternity. It's in our spiritual DNA and will be seen not only spiritually, but physically. In due time. 

Glory is in you, believer. His glory is in you.

Wow.

Grace and Obedience Are Not Opposites

Grace and obedience are not Biblical opposites, so why do they seem to be consistently set in opposition to one another? 

Love for God can no more simply be an emotion, than marital love can. If you can just fall in love with God then you could presumably fall right back out when things get difficult, or boring. Love involves emotion, but love is ultimately a choice and love is action. I didn't make that up. God did.

God's love is not earned by obedience, but our love for Him is demonstrated and seen through our obedience to His Word. If there is no fruit of obedience, dare I say, works, then, perhaps, there is no love. 

Why is this a problem for people? Seriously. What are people afraid of when love, grace and works are all mentioned in the same sentence?

Here's Where I Say Some Weird Stuff and Show My Debbie Downer Side

It is an absolutely gorgeous day here today, so we took advantage of it by spending most of the morning outside. After I played a few rounds of Memory with Christopher, he was happy to go searching under rocks for bugs. That gave me a few minutes to just lay down in the grass and enjoy the warmth of the sunshine - a very welcome thing after months of cold and clouds.

Over the last few years, more often than not, when I have moments like that, I begin to feel that what I am enjoying is almost a false reality. I know that might sound strange, and I don't know if I really have words to express what I feel, but I feel that somehow it won't last, as if it isn't real at all. Like one day the ability to experience peaceful moments like that will be a rare opportunity.

In a sense it already is, I guess. For most of us peaceful moments don't come around often enough. For some, they never come around. This morning, because of some conversations I've had with Dave and Caeley, I found myself wondering if people in concentration camps ever found/find themselves able to enjoy a few minutes of sunshine, undisturbed, and imagine themselves in a better place and time, only to be snatched back to reality.

I know these sound like strange thoughts, and I have no explanation for it other than God must have made my mind to think this way. I couldn't begin to say why, but I am well aware that while I lay in the back yard, there is a war going on in the world around us. We see it on different levels, but it's real. It feels like quiet moments are glimpses of heaven and the pain and suffering and wickedness are reality in this world we live in.

For the most part trouble has remained an offshore problem as it relates to Americans. I dont believe that will always be the case. Isn't that encouraging? The good news is that God never leaves or forsakes His people. So, all I know to do is maintain my relationship with Him and keep myself in a position to hear His voice. He is trustworthy.

In the meantime I'm going to enjoy every ray of sunshine and every glimpse of heaven I get.

Exodus 33:18,19

Creative title, huh?

I've been thinking about Exodus 33, where God showed Moses His glory, which was His goodness. Glory, in many cases, refers to the true essence of God. It's the revelation of who He is...His character. 

In Exodus, God showed Moses His goodness, which is the essence of who He is. Everything He does is good. All His judgments are good and all His works are good. Over the last year or so I have found myself trying to take that truth and make it mean that everything that happens in our lives must also be good, if it was allowed to happen. Maybe it came out of a desire not to question God's goodness.

I certainly don't understand the ins and outs of the sovereignty of God, but I do not believe that is necessarily true. I think things happen in our lives, in our world, that simply aren't good. Tragic things happen. Sad things happen. We live in a fallen world and I don't think God calls all things good. I might be wrong. Those wiser than me may correct me on that.

What I do know and believe is that while bad things happen, He promises to turn them for good. Or, maybe it is better said that He promises to bring good out of tragic circumstances, in the lives of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). 

He "works" things together for good. In my mind I envision it as the wringing out of a wet washcloth. Twisting, squeezing, wringing, every last drop of water out. Nothing wasted. I don't know if that makes sense. It's just what I see. I don't know if we are the ones being wrung out or if it's the circumstance. I know it can feel like we are the ones being twisted and squeezed.

It can be so hard to trust Him when it hurts. But I believe that if we don't give up, and we keep pushing and reaching to touch even the hem of his garment, that He will be faithful and we will be able again to see clearly the goodness of the Lord.

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on his faithful followers.  For he knows what we are made of; he realizes we are made of clay. (Psalms 103:13, 14 NET)

The First Commandment

You know, I think if our hearts are turned toward God, toward righteousness, toward humility, then He smiles at our weakness much more than we realize. I am constantly aware of the ways I fall short, and no doubt He is, too, but I believe when He looks at me He doesn't see that first. Since He looks at the heart, He first sees the direction and intention of my heart, despite the way it plays out in my life.

At church this past weekend, Mike Bickle reminded us that the first and primary commandment is to love God with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength. That's our purpose and highest calling. Not ministry, not work, not marriage, not parenting or anything else. If you wonder about your purpose start there. All else flows out from that place. This is a new way of thinking for me. I've known it but not known it, know what I mean?

The Lord has been teaching me, reminding me, often over the last several months that He is my audience. His opinion is the one that matters most. And His opinion of us is not nearly as negative as ours often is of ourselves. That is a freeing truth, friends.

As a father has compassion on his children, so the  Lord  has compassion on his faithful followers.  For he knows what we are made of; he realizes we are made of clay - Psalm 103:13, 14 NET

Freedom!

I love this picture. I love it because it's my sweet Riley enjoying this beautiful day. But what I love about it most is that when I look at it, I see freedom.

 

 

I'm not naturally able to freely run and express myself in this way. Something about being a grown-up seems to suck the freedom out of us and replaces it with self-consciousness.

 

When I think about me in in Heaven, in God's presence, I think of myself this way...the way Riley is running, arms wide, chasing bubbles and loving it, unaware and unconcerned with anyone else. I look forward to feeling that way again.

 

About two weeks before Summer Kempfer went to be with the Lord, I was in a light sleep and had a dream. In the dream I woke up lying in a grassy field on a beautiful day. I realized that I had just finished my race on earth and had gone to heaven. All of a sudden Summer ran up and stood over me, saying, "You did it! You're finished! Come on!" She was healthy, whole and had her wavy blond hair and a huge smile. It was as if she was calling me to get up and go play. There was such a sense of joy and freedom.

 

Today, on Easter, on Resurrection Sunday, I think about that. I think about those who have gone before us and who are experiencing freedom and joy and I am so thankful that because of the sacrifice Jesus made, they are free from the shackles of this life. I'm thankful that I will experience that, too. And so much more.

 

This is the comfort we have in sorrow and death. Even when things don't make sense, we have this hope: the hope of eternal life, fullness of joy and pleasures forever.

 

 

 

And you know I had to add this song...because it's perfect.

 

 

 

Trouble That Brings Revival?

I had a thought today...a question, really.

Are the things we are seeing in our country a result of prayers offered up by the church for revival? Is the growth of our government, the pressing in on our freedom, the things that make us nervous for the future, an unexpected answer to that prayer? 

How many of us can point to a time of trouble in our personal lives as the thing that turned our hearts toward God? Why not on a larger scale?

If historically and currently we can see clearly that the church grows exponentially under persecution, and if we live in a nation with a complacent and shrinking church, then should we expect anything less?

Should we not only expect it, but maybe even welcome it? Yeah, I'm not sure about that one, either. But maybe?

Should we forget that even when God sent judgment to His people in the past that He did so with a heart to draw them back, because that's what it often takes?

When He said nothing shall snatch you from My hand, do we expect Him to let us go quietly? Would that be loving? What does the grasp of God look like to a people who have said, "I am Yours," but then turn to run the other way?

Perhaps revival is a double-edged sword, bringing both pain and renewal. I don't know, but I think maybe so.

Trouble that brings revival is a gift from The Lord (not that I'm pumped about, or invite, trouble in my personal life or on a national level...felt like I needed to say that. I do not like it :)

Just a thought...not a statement of fact. But worth consideration. 

Better to Yield Than Die :)

I was driving this morning and just missed having an accident, one that probably would have been ugly. I was driving straight through an intersection and a girl coming the opposite direction made a left turn right in front of me, without hesitation at all. Then, she had nerve to look at me like I was crazy!

I, of course, threw my hands in the air and said, "Wha-T? (emphasis on the "T," in a Madea sort of way). Why are you looking at me? Are you crazy?" Then I caught myself, and calmed down. I said to God, she is crazy. And wrong. If I had not stopped, and had hit her, it would have been her fault. Not mine.

And He said (in my heart, of course), and this is paraphrased, "Yes. She would have been wrong and you could be dead...but she was wrong. Or you could both be badly injured, but she was wrong. How's that sound?"

Well, when you put it like that...I suppose it wouldn't really matter who was wrong, if we were both bleeding. If I held my ground because I was right, and hurt us both in the process, I wouldn't really win.

The lesson I took away was this: not every hill is worth dying on. Not every argument is worth having. Sometimes it's better to yield, even when the other person is wrong. Just back off, slow down and let them go on by with their wrong selves.

Not every wrong needs to be addressed and pointed out. Not every wrong thing said needs to be confronted or defended.

Easier said than done, but it's the way I am called to live.

The More I Know, the Less I Know

The more I learn and get around, the less I think I know about what matters. I say stuff on this blog, and sometimes people will tell me they like what I've said, or they enjoy reading it. I appreciate the compliments and am encouraged by them, but honestly, most of the time, I feel like a giant windbag...just talking, running my mouth, tapping on the keyboard. 

I just think, Lord, if only they knew how clueless I am. Or what a hypocrite I can be. I wonder if I really live and believe everything I say? Is it evident in my life that I'm a follower of Christ or do I look like everybody else? 

Do I still fear the opinion of man?

Do I even come close to loving people the way I'm called to?

Do I love and accept people as they are? Or do I make judgments?

Do I give people a chance or make hasty judgments?

Am I willing to serve? To lay down my rights for the greater purpose of glorifying God?

Do I love Him with my whole heart, or is my heart divided?

Am I willing to be uncomfortable?

Do I put myself first?

Am I knocking people over with the plank in my eye, while trying to help them with their speck?

Do I really believe He loves me? Am I underwhelmed?

These are just a bunch of questions rolling around in my head. One thing I don't like is, "fake." So, I thought I'd throw out there that I'm laying some questions out before the Lord and bracing myself for the answers. He desires truth in my inmost being. I think I am ready to hear it...hopefully in small chunks at a time. 

Is "chunk" a southern word?? I'm more conscious of my speech since we moved :)

I don't have it together...and have so little figured out. Forgive me if I have behaved as if I do.

That is all.

First World Problems

Over the last few weeks I started taking note of the ridiculous things we, in our household, get bent out of shape over. So, here is my top 10 list of Pittman First World Problems:

10. The static electricity in this place is making my freshly ground coffee fly all over the countertop. Now I have to clean it up. Gah.

9. NETFLIX is not working. I'm so frustrated!

8. The tag on my new scarf from Urban Outfitters is sticking out. Why do they sew tags on scarves, anyway?! Gah.

7. My caramel latte is NOT sweet enough. I thought I told her I liked something sweet. Or, similarly, this latte is too sweet! I cannot drink this.

6. These apples do not have skins on them. I want skins on my apple slices. I am NOT eating these! <grunt> 

5. Cooking food makes such a huge mess. Can everybody just stop eating?

4. We have too much food in this house.

3. My 3G hasn't been working for the last 30 seconds. What is the problem?! What. A. Piece. Of garbage!

2. OMG. Since we moved to Kansas I actually have to scroll down in the drop down box when I'm entering my address info into a website. I used to be first on the list. What a pain.

1. The Velcro in my North Face jacket keeps snagging my new scarf from Urban Outfitters. Velcro is from the devil!

Feel free to share yours. I'd love to hear what ridiculous thing is ruining your life today ;)